Saturday, November 24, 2007

My Brother the Cock Block

One weekend trip to Montreal with a few friends, two adjoining hotel rooms, a lot of Canadian beer, and a great escort service…a few hundred bucks down the tube.

I don’t remember the occasion, but a few of my friends, my brother, and myself all went to Montreal for a weekend trip. Probably went to catch a hockey game or something. These sort of trips used to take their toll on my liver, because it was always get up, eat breakfast, drink, and don’t stop until you can’t stand up anymore. Certainly the case this weekend.

After another night of looking at titties in the strip clubs, we all went back to our rooms in the hotel around 2am. My brother and I had one room with two beds, and everyone else was in the next room. Both rooms were joined by a door, which I knew as soon as I saw it was a bad idea for a group like us. As soon as I got back to the hotel I grabbed the yellow pages and looked up escorts. Called the first one and boom, a girl would be over within 45 minutes. Everyone was talking in the other room until a knock on the door. I opened it, and WOW, was this girl hot! Turns out one friend had been down in the lobby and followed her up the elevator, not knowing I had called her. They got off the same floor, walked down the same hall, and stopped at the same door, wondering what was going on.

I quickly got everyone out of my room and my brother was passed out on the other bed in my room. I could not wake him up no matter what I tried, so finally I decided hey, if I can’t wake him up, he’s not going to disturb me. That’s where I was wrong. After the “deal” was over and the girl and I started getting it on, I knew I had about a half hour left. At that time my brother started snoring, and the snoring got louder by the minute. It was so loud that it broke my concentration and when time was running out, I couldn’t finish my job. To make matters worse, my friends were trying to break through the door into my room to take incriminating pictures. The girl finally had to stop so she could leave for her next appointment, and I was out $300. Whether my brother and friends will admit it or not, they owe me for this failed experience. I may as well have started to rub one out, quit at the last second, and then burned a stack of money.

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