Monday, December 3, 2007

Here You Go, Big Shot

When I used to own my bar, Sundays were the day I pretty much always took off, but I’d hang out at the bar anyway and watch football.  My ex-girlfriend and I had been there the night before and she spent the night at my house.  I convinced her to hang out with me this one particular Sunday, and since she didn’t have any of her own clean clothes she asked to borrow my favorite T-shirt.  It was an A-Team shirt that she hated, but literally the only clean shirt I had that day.

One of my friends met us up there, and we were pretty drunk by later in the afternoon. When you get the two of us together with a little alcohol, we can be pretty annoying.  We were annoying my ex to no end, but she hung in there with us.  A little later in the day we were hanging out with one of my regular customers, an off-duty police officer.  A girl I knew came up to me and asked if I wanted to smoke a little weed.  I rarely partake, but occasionally when I’m drunk I’ll smoke, and that’s what happened on this Sunday.  I told the cop I’d be back in a few.

Me, my friend I was there with, and the girl I knew headed out the door and around the corner of the building.  We smoked a little, and I couldn’t stop coughing.  I kept coughing and coughing, and finally I coughed so hard I started throwing up.  My buddy was laughing hysterically which pissed me off so I started trying to puke on him.  He started running around the corner and back toward the entrance to the bar, and I kept pace with him the whole way, probably 100 yards.  About every 5 strides I’d heave a little more, and by the time we got to the front entrance some people were walking in and saw us, questioning if this was the type of bar they wanted to hang out in.

We regained our composure and headed back to our seats, trying not to alert the cop to what we had been doing.  He must have known, but at least he didn’t say anything.  I purposely didn’t talk much to him after that, and my buddy and I were annoying my ex even more.  She finally got so pissed off that she yelled at me in front of the whole bar and left.  We were just laughing because she was so pissed over some small bullshit, and then she walked back through the door.  This time she had my A-Team shirt in her hand, and she threw it as hard as she could at my head.  While she threw it she said “here you go, big shot”.  I immediately started singing the Billy Joel song “Big Shot” which made her even angrier.  She left for good, and we stayed for a few more hours drinking.

The ex and I had a little heart to heart the next day, and I told her to never disrespect the A-Team shirt again.  She still calls me “big shot” from time to time, and hates the A-Team shirt more than ever.

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