Sunday, December 9, 2007

Shit Out of Luck

A friend and I went up to Montreal one weekend.  We were out at the strip clubs and were on our way from one club to another when my friend realized he needed to take a shit really bad.  We were right in front of a peep show so we went in to see if they had a bathroom.  The owner pointed my friend toward a back hallway where the bathroom was located, so I hung out and watched pornos for about 10 minutes.  Finally I realized my buddy hadn’t come back out yet, so I went to investigate.

The bathroom was toward the end of this long, winding hallway that clearly wasn’t meant for public use.  I entered the bathroom and my buddy said “thank God you’re here…are there any paper towels out there?”  I looked under the sink, and there weren’t any that I could find.  I told him there weren’t any and they used one of those warm air hand dryers.  He told me to check the ladies room for toilet paper so I did.  They were out in the ladies room as well, so when I entered the men’s room again he asked “any luck?”  I hit the button for the hand dryer and said “does that answer your question?”  At this point he didn’t know what to do but it didn’t take him too long to figure out a plan.   I heard him rustling around in the stall and asked what he was doing.  He was taking off his underwear, tighty whities, and then wiped his ass with them.  I couldn’t stop laughing at the idea, and then I heard the toilet flush.  Brown water started pouring onto the floor, my buddy came running out of the stall, and we got the hell out of there before the owner saw the mess.

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