Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Why Do Fat Chicks Always Wear Black?

I was visiting a client yesterday and he had one of his sales reps from another company meet me. I got there before she did and had no clue what to expect, but I always like to meet sales reps because they’re usually (a) female and (b) good looking. Not the case here.

As soon as she squeezed through the door I knew it was her. Probably about 250 pounds and decked out in all black. I always find it funny when fat chicks wear black because they think it makes them look skinny. Come on, what the fuck do you girls smoke that makes you think that? I mean, if you’re 250, I don’t care what color you wear, you’re still 250. Do you think our eyes magically erase anything we see that’s black? The funniest thing is that they think they can squeeze into something 3 sizes smaller because it’s black. Sorry honey, now you just look like 10 pounds of sausages stuffed into a 5 pound bag.

Now for the best part. This chick said she needed to meet up with me to go over some stuff, so I suggested a bar. I could tell she was interested in me (I swear fat chicks can sense my willingness to fuck anything) so I wanted to suggest we meet somewhere that had lots of alcohol, because I’m going to need it. I scheduled our meeting a little ways out because she looked like she had pink-eye. Maybe it was just a piece of ham stuck to her face, who knows. I’ll be sure and post the after-meeting happenings at a later time.

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