Before I bought my own bar I used to hang out there about 4 days a week. It was conveniently right up the street from where I worked at the time, so a few coworkers and I would frequently go for happy hour before heading home.
One night Captain Chaos and I hung out a little longer than we should have, and I was driving a Ford Explorer that day. I’m not sure what it is, but when I get a few drinks in me, I turn into an idiot. This night was no exception. I went outside to take a phone call on my cell, and on my way out I noticed a nice new couch in the alcove by the front door. I was sizing it up in my mind, and when I got outside I took a look at the Explorer. “I’ll bet it would fit in there” I said to myself. When I was done with my call I hung up the phone, got into the Explorer, and backed it up to the front door of the bar.
I went back inside and told Captain Chaos about the genius plan I just hatched. He was game. We cashed out our tabs, said goodbye to the bartender, and headed out the door. We took one last peek around the corner to make sure nobody was coming out, and then within 10 seconds flat we had picked up the couch, rammed it into the back of the Explorer, and took off with it. We were laughing the whole way home. I put it in my living room and got years of enjoyment out of it.
About 3 months after taking the couch I left my job and decided to buy into the bar with one of the former owners. Captain Chaos heard the news and called me up to congratulate me. All of a sudden he burst out laughing and said “I just thought of something funny. The couch has finally come into possession of its rightful owner”. True indeed, it had. I sank about $100,000 into buying that bar, and at the end of it all I walked away with nothing. Nothing but a couch that is, making it more expensive than any couch you’ll ever see on MTV Cribs. Too bad I could have got it for $100 at a garage sale instead.